Saturday, September 19, 2009
Friday, September 4, 2009
Back to Reality
What an amazing summer. Seriously so much fun. Too much going on to update a blog even! Then reality hit. Drew started school on Tuesday. We rode our bikes to and from school - towing Nina in the trailer is a serious workout! He has a little homework but nothing too rough. I'm trying to get all the schedules co-ordinated, plowing through the directory, taking care of the PTO stuff, all the thrilling back to school tasks but still in a haze of summer bliss. Then today came along. My baby went to kindergarten. I was so giddy up until 8:42 today. She was ready, I was ready. Both of totally pumped for a fabulous year. We even danced on our way to line up. A real dance with some swanky moves. This was going to be a piece of cake.
We lined-up. Took the obligatory pictures. Joked with a friend - laughing at the first day chaos. Then when the bell rang Nina told me her stomach felt funny. I brilliantly came up with the "butterflies in your tummy" explanation. The Mom next to me flashed me a "that was a good one smile." I could handle sending Nina off to the big K no problem. I wasn't bawling like I did 4 years ago with Drew. I was getting this Mommy thing (finally!) and could suavely calm my baby's fears and get her excited about school. Nina's butterflies subsided once we got to the classroom - down to 5 or 6 by her estimation. Then her teacher was welcoming everyone with a fun but heart-felt speech. Kids sitting in a circle on the rug. Parents, some failing to hold back tears, surrounded the back of the room. Strangely I was very cool. Snapping more pictures of Nina and her friend looking totally bored, quietly chatting with my friend, laughing at the boy who kept asking where the free food was (not kidding - he asked twice!) Then we were sent off, happily waving and ready to get on with the rest of the morning.
Then Nina got me. Direct hit to the heart. Pierced me with the sweetest blown kiss and a beaming smile. She was ready all right. She looked big and confident and beautiful. And I crumbled - cool Mommy evaporated. I did make it out of the class room vaclemphed but with dry eyes. I had a flashback of her big smile and lost it. A sob escaped me. Tears were flowing. Giddiness gone and replaced big, huge tears. My baby grew up right before my eyes.
Off I went to the PTO meeting, somehow composed and tried to regain my carefree attitude. I made it through the morning with a heavy heart. I was actually trapped in the longest board meeting ever in the history of all PTOs. I got more forms for the directory. Caught up with a friend I haven't seen in ages who was stunned Nina was in kindergarten. Pick-up time rapidly approached and the big girl came bounding out. She had the best time. Kindergarten was awesome! She wanted to go out to lunch. How could I say no? I even caved and went to Friendly's. She did look bigger across from me in the booth. She had so much to tell me. We were both back to being giddy and overall it was a good day. But there is a little hole in my heart patched with a kiss blown through the air and sealed with a precious smile.
We lined-up. Took the obligatory pictures. Joked with a friend - laughing at the first day chaos. Then when the bell rang Nina told me her stomach felt funny. I brilliantly came up with the "butterflies in your tummy" explanation. The Mom next to me flashed me a "that was a good one smile." I could handle sending Nina off to the big K no problem. I wasn't bawling like I did 4 years ago with Drew. I was getting this Mommy thing (finally!) and could suavely calm my baby's fears and get her excited about school. Nina's butterflies subsided once we got to the classroom - down to 5 or 6 by her estimation. Then her teacher was welcoming everyone with a fun but heart-felt speech. Kids sitting in a circle on the rug. Parents, some failing to hold back tears, surrounded the back of the room. Strangely I was very cool. Snapping more pictures of Nina and her friend looking totally bored, quietly chatting with my friend, laughing at the boy who kept asking where the free food was (not kidding - he asked twice!) Then we were sent off, happily waving and ready to get on with the rest of the morning.
Then Nina got me. Direct hit to the heart. Pierced me with the sweetest blown kiss and a beaming smile. She was ready all right. She looked big and confident and beautiful. And I crumbled - cool Mommy evaporated. I did make it out of the class room vaclemphed but with dry eyes. I had a flashback of her big smile and lost it. A sob escaped me. Tears were flowing. Giddiness gone and replaced big, huge tears. My baby grew up right before my eyes.
Off I went to the PTO meeting, somehow composed and tried to regain my carefree attitude. I made it through the morning with a heavy heart. I was actually trapped in the longest board meeting ever in the history of all PTOs. I got more forms for the directory. Caught up with a friend I haven't seen in ages who was stunned Nina was in kindergarten. Pick-up time rapidly approached and the big girl came bounding out. She had the best time. Kindergarten was awesome! She wanted to go out to lunch. How could I say no? I even caved and went to Friendly's. She did look bigger across from me in the booth. She had so much to tell me. We were both back to being giddy and overall it was a good day. But there is a little hole in my heart patched with a kiss blown through the air and sealed with a precious smile.
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